Giving In
by YvaineS
Summary: What if Loki is the one to have to back down first for once? What if the prideful Loki has to step up to keep what he really wants? Prize for the 100th review for my Lokane story Shared Silence. Lokane romance. One-shot. Complete. A big thanks to my reviewers!


**Author's Note:** This is the reward for LilTinyBee for posting the 100th review on my Lokane story "Shared Silence". It's also a huge **thank you** to all the other reviewers, because you make me. Simple as that. LilTinyBee's request was to make a one-shot in which Loki has to be the one to swallow his pride for once, since most fanfics about him shows him as strong-willed and reluctant to be the first to back down on something. I hope I did ok, this is my first one-shot ever.

**Short back-story:** The Avengers won and Loki was captured. Odin, who brought Thor to Earth, fell into the Odin Sleep (again!) and Thor doesn't trust Loki enough to use the tesseract to bring them home. They settle in New York incognito (i.e. wearing normal men's wear), and after a time in captivity Loki is set to help rebuild New York. Jane Foster has joined them and moved her research to Stark Tower where they all reside together. A sort of friendship forms between Loki and Jane after the initial months. Loki is still angry, arrogant and enjoys playing the antagonist. As time passes, Jane feels increasingly drawn to Loki and vice versa – but they are both stubborn.

**Music:** "Never Let Me Go" by Florence & The Machine

* * *

**100****th**** review for Shared Silence reward: **

**"Giving In"**

_And it's breaking over me_  
_A thousand miles down to the sea bed_  
_Found the place to rest my head_  
_Never let me go_  
_Never let me go_

_(...)_

_But I'm not giving up_  
_I'm just giving in  
_- Florence & The Machine

Jane walked into the meeting room where Thor, Tony Stark, Pepper, Steve and Loki were already discussing the last week's progress.

"Ah, there she is; the lovely Jane finally gracing us with her sublime presence!" Tony teased, and ignored the mock-overbearing look from Pepper at his side.

"I am so sorry, I got caught up." Jane said, dumping into the nearest chair next to Loki.

He gave her a lingering look. She wished he would stop doing that. Like he had a secret to tell her, but refusing to do so. Thor noticed, and frowned briefly.

"By caught up you mean forgot your name and your surroundings and the concept of time because of your research?" Tony asked casually with a small smirk on his lips.

Jane gave him a sheepish grin. "Yes, that's exactly what I mean. Glad we understand each other. Now, how far have you come?"

They continued their discussion about the progress of rebuilding New York City, making suggestions and bouncing ideas off of each other well into the night. Eventually it had turned into Chinese take-away and a few bottles of wine. Pepper was the first to throw in the towel and say goodnight. She was, after all, managing most of Tony's assets and companies, and she took her job seriously. The next to bid them goodnight were Thor and Steve Rogers – they were going on a night patrol. Unfortunately, human scavengers – or opportunists, as Jane called them – were still taking advantage on the ruined infrastructure and half-demolished buildings on Manhattan. The police force simply could not take on everything themselves, and welcomed all the help they could get from the Avengers. Of course, they had no idea their same protectors were also hiding the man who had caused all this destruction.

Finally, the only people left were the three brilliant minds; Jane, Tony and Loki. She had been surprised of how quickly he had learned their way of science, and could join in on all the discussions Tony and Jane usually had. Thor and Steve could follow them pretty well too, but their talents were of might, not magic. Or science, as it was called here. Once in Puente Antiguo – it was a life time ago – Thor had told her that science and magic were one and the same. But in spite of her efforts, Jane hadn't figured out how that was possible yet.

In the beginning of their friendship, she supposed it was, she had asked Loki, but he was reluctant to answer her questions on that particular field. With overbearing arrogance, he had told her there was no conceivable way she would be able to dip into the wells of magic for the purpose of hurrying her research along. Jane in return had told him that she thought he was afraid of competition, which had made him double over with laughter.

Still, in spite of their banter, they had come a long way since she met him and Thor and the rest of the Avengers in New York almost a year ago. At first she had been afraid of him, and he had done nothing to ease that fear. As weeks and months passed however, she noted that it was mostly bark and no bite. She could see his side of it, too; he had lost a fight which to him was more a territorial dispute between two powerful brothers than an actual attempt to bring suffering to Earth. He had attempted to find a place in the universe, and been rejected once again. For all his menace and hostile demeanour, she knew he was lost and hurt, and lashed out at anyone who got in his way when he was in a bad mood. However, he did help them, and they had all come to accept him and his presence there. He had even begun to reconcile with Thor, and Jane saw it was good for both of them. It certainly made Loki easier to be around.

"So, you really think it is possible?" Tony asked. He was lounging in his chair with his feet on the table, nursing a wine glass in his hands.

"Yes! If we can somehow use the signature from the landing spot and stabilize the energy levels – and we could theoretically do that with your help – we could manipulate an Einstein-Rosen Bridge long enough to send someone through!" Jane said, gesturing with her hands as she spoke. She was a little drunk and did nothing to hide the fact.

"It's a good thought. And if anyone could do it, well, that would be us. 'Cause we're awesome." Tony said with a grin.

"And just who would you suggest to send in this daring experiment?" Loki cut in. He was sitting sprawled in his chair, with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Because if it does not work, you do realize what would happen to them, right?" he continued, boring his eyes into hers.

"I…we'd have to conduct some tests first, of course. But it could mean we can send you and Thor home! Doesn't that count for anything?" Jane asked him.

Loki paused, leaning forward a little.

"Are you that eager to get rid of us then?" he said ironically. She knew him well enough to know the irony was just a show.

"Of course not! I'm thinking about your family, you wouldn't have to be stuck here against your will." Jane said, her cheeks flushing with latent anger. Why did he have to argue with her on every single idea she had? Normally she ignored it, but the wine made it impossible.

"Against _my_ will – or against Thor's will? No one has asked us what we actually want. Or at the least, what _I_ want. You simply assume that I would eagerly return to a place that is no longer my home, where I was disowned and cast out!" His voice was growing colder with each word, which normally signified anger.

"Look, no one is forcing you do to anything – and you were not cast out from what I hear, you chose to let go! Maybe you don't want to go home, but that's on your stubborn pride and you know it!" Jane said angrily.

"My _pride_? You know nothing about me." Loki hissed, sitting up.

Jane sighed. She never won these quarrels with him.

"What do you want then? You want to stay in hiding in the Stark Tower for the rest of your existence? You know there are plenty of people out there who are just waiting to get their hands on you for what happened." she asked him, lowering her voice.

Tony chocked on his wine at the suggestion of Loki staying there, and Loki winked teasingly at him.

"Hold on now, why don't you two calm down a little." he said with a hint of worry. "No one is deciding anything, it's just a theory."

"Yes. A theory that is highly dependent on me for it to work. And I will not do it." Loki told them both, but he was looking at Jane.

"You are impossibly difficult; I'm actually trying to help you!" Jane growled.

Loki stood up and leaned over her.

"Want to help me? Stop talking about this matter." he told her, with urgency in his voice.

She looked up at him, her eyes softening a fracture.

"Loki…if you want to stay, then be my guest. I just thought you'd like to have the option at least. I didn't know you had a reason to stay here." she said gently.

He leaned down even closer, and let his eyes drift over her face.

"Maybe I found a reason, or will. I do not have a reason to go back there, that is for certain." he told her, his voice almost a whisper. They looked eyes and the room went silent until Tony coughed awkwardly.

Loki straightened up and with a look at Tony, then Jane, left the room.

"Why does he always fight me on this? He's so stubborn I want to scream sometimes!" Jane sighed.

Tony looked thoughtful, resting his hand on his chin as he eyes her from the side.

"You know, someone might call you just as stubborn too," to which Jane shot him a quick indignant glance, "but more importantly, what the hell is going on between the two of you anyway?" he continued.

Jane snorted. "Are you high? What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Come on, Jane, I'm not blind. Or stupid. Especially not stupid." Tony said with a laugh. "So spit it out, you know you can talk to me. Seriously."

All of a sudden, Jane looked desperately lost. She was a terrible liar, and she knew it.

"I…I don't know, ok?" She said, leaning into her hands. Tony sat back in his chair and waited for her to continue.

"I really don't know Tony. He is…difficult. And angry a lot. And rude. And impossible to read. And I…" She looked at him suddenly, as if she had forgotten something important.

"I like him," she whispered.

"You 'like' him a lot. I can tell." Tony said gently. "And honestly, I don't blame you for it, even if he can be a dick sometimes. Well, most of the times. But I get it." He continued, and leaned over to grab her hand.

"I think I'm in love with him, Tony. How the fuck did that happen?" her voice broke.

"What about Thor?" he asked her, his voice still soft.

Jane sighed. "Thor is awesome. In every meaning of the word. We kissed a few times, went on a few dates, and now…we're just friends, really. Though I think maybe he wants more. I don't know. All I know is that I would love to be in love with him – but I'm not." she finally confessed, relieved to get it out to someone. Tony would keep her secret; he was utterly loyal to his friends like that.

"Does Loki know?" Tony asked, looking pointedly at her.

She gasped. "I certainly hope not! That would be bad. Very very very bad!"

"Because, I'm pretty sure he knows..." – he continued before she could interrupt him with a panicky rant – "…and I don't think he's opposed to the idea."

Jane froze. "You _are_ high!" she laughed at him, with an edge of hysteria to it.

Tony laughed heartily.

"I wish! No but seriously. Stop misjudging yourself. He likes you and that's getting obvious to everyone, except you."

Jane looked at him. He was serious; there was no malice or ill-intent in his face, not that there often were.

"I need to get some sleep." she told him, and stood to walk to the door. Once at the door, she paused and turned to face him.

"Thanks Tony."

**LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL **

The following days were a slow kind of torture for Jane. Her new insight made it harder than normal to be around any of her friends, and she could not stop her heart from beating wildly in her chest every time Loki was around, which was often. She tried to act normal, but she could not forget Tony's words – that Loki might feel the same. Questions and no answers added to her distress, and she started to lock herself in with her research more. It was the only thing that could calm her down. She would not say a word. If she was wrong, she would make a complete fool of herself, and this was not a man who forgave foolishness easily.

_How could she fall in love with Loki_?, she kept asking herself even as she knew the answer.

Not only was he unforgivably handsome though the fact that he was very easy on the eyes made it so much easier to love him; he was also smart, he was one of few men who could challenge her intellect. On good days, he could be playful and funny – and when he laughed, truly laughed, everything else disappeared. And, if she was absolutely honest with herself, the dark edge to him attracted her as well. In spite of the horror he had caused, she knew he had redemption ahead of him. His actions were gruesome, that was for sure, but his intentions had not been _evil_. And that made all the difference in the world.

**LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL **

Loki was confused. Something had happened after their long night discussion some weeks earlier. Jane had been on edge ever since, and he knew it had something to do with him.

Suddenly she would blush when he saw her, and her voice sometimes shook when she talked to him, like she had to make an effort to get the right words out. Worse, Tony Stark kept eyeing him, and it was very disconcerting. Even Thor was acting strange, he kept scowling at him, not that it was entirely new, but something new had entered the equation.

Most everything felt new to him for that matter. He had been angry and hurt and alone for so long, it was hard to adjust to not being attacked from all sides anymore. Now, he had...allies, maybe even friends. For the first time in a long time, he could relax; he didn't answer to anyone who threatened him, he could allow himself to laugh. It had been hard to admit at first, but Jane was a big part of that. She had been the first after Thor to accept him in, even when she had still been afraid of him. He rather enjoyed her company as they got to trust each other.

As time passed, he had come to a realization, though he tried to ignore it.

The simple truth was, he loved her. He could not say when he had realized, it had snuck upon him gradually. But he loved her. With all that he was, had been and would ever be, he loved her.

When she was sad, her eyes haunted him. When she smiled at him, his heart soared – a heart he had thought was irrevocably broken and cold.

Knowing this, even admitting it to himself in the wee hours of every single night, did not change the fact that he had decided to never tell her.

The obstacles of her mortality, her relationship with Thor, however faded that was, and the fact that Loki was who – and what – he was, made it impossible to move forward with it.

He had attacked her realm, he had killed and maimed for a purpose that now seemed insane to him. Even if she forgave him, she would never love a monster like him. Even his usual appearance was fake – he was a frost giant, of an entirely different species.

When he had been an adolescent, he had kept women at an arm's length. Even then he had distrusted these kinds of feelings. More than anything, it had been a nuisance to him;

His passion was magic and his family – besides, he had never really been in the centre of women's attention. In the company of the outgoing and charming Thor – not to mention Fandral – he simply disappeared. Sure there had been some who caught his attention and vice versa, but it had never led to anything serious.

Loki didn't mind to be alone; in fact he preferred it that way. But he had never truly loved someone until now. This was redemption to him; letting her go without burdening her was his gift to Jane. She could make her own decisions and live out her life the way she chose, without having to feel pressured by his feelings for her.

Loki knew if he told her, if he admitted all for her, he would not be able to let her go. As it was, he was happy to just be around her, to observe the life in her. Even if that meant to keep arguing with her to avoid revealing his true feelings.

But now, this idea seemed to be falling apart. Why was she so anxious? Did she somehow know? Was she repelled by the idea of their friendship?

During the next few weeks, he tried to stay away from her while prodding Tony, Steve and Pepper for clues to Jane's change in behaviour, however subtle it was.

"I know, you know." Tony suddenly told him out of the blue. Seconds earlier, Loki, Pepper and Tony had been casually talking in the kitchen while making tea. Thor and Steve were out again, and Jane was in all likelihood working.

Loki stopped breathing. It took him some effort to turn around and face him with an inquiring look on his face.

"I am afraid I do not follow. You know what, exactly?"

"Come on Loki, I'm talking about Jane" Tony said. "You two need to talk, it's driving me crazy that you're both walking around like this." He continued, watching Loki carefully.

"What about Jane?" Loki said, feigning surprise.

Pepper stepped in, her voice soft and caring. "You both have feelings for each other. We can tell, we were the same way for a pretty long time." She smiled, as Tony gave her a loving look.

Loki felt cornered. He had been so careful. Now he did not even have his talent of deceit anymore.

"Whatever you think you know... Leave it." He warned them.

"Why would you deny yourself and her a chance to be happy together?" Pepper asked him, confused by his reaction.

"I am what I am. That will not change. Even if what you say is true, she deserves better." He said, mentally kicking himself for giving this much away. Pepper had a way of making people open up to her.

"You're wrong. You're terribly wrong." Tony cut in, giving him a hard stare.

"Enough. Do not ever speak of this again." Loki told them before he dematerialized away. It was the fastest way to get away from them. Meddling people, who did they think they were?

**LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL **

He teleported himself to the rooftop terrace of Stark Tower. The sun was setting, and the stars would soon appear in the sky.

He stood there, trying to calm himself by taking deep breaths. His mind was in such turmoil, he didn't realize someone else had entered the terrace. When he did, he twirled around in the blink of an eye, ready to tell off whoever was sneaking up on him.

What he saw, was Jane. She stood by the door, looking like she had been about to leave again unnoticed.

"Uhm, I didn't mean to disturb you. Looked like you needed some privacy." she said, avoiding his eyes.

"Not at all. I believe this terrace is big enough for both of us." The words slipped out of him before he could stop them. After all, he did want her there.

"Ok." She tentatively walked up to him, and they both looked at the sunset in silence for a bit.

Jane broke the silence first.

"I've decided to go back to Puente Antiguo."

"What? Why?" he asked as his heart plummeted.

"I... there are too many city lights here. My research, it's often dependent on a clear and dark night sky. Erik will probably join me for a while." she said, while fumbling with a button on her shirt, looking down.

"I see." he said. There wasn't anything else to say. She had made up her mind to leave. He should let her go, as he had promised himself, it was the best for her.

But even as he tried to convince himself that it was the truth, it felt wrong to him. Not being around her everyday felt impossible.

"This has been great, hanging out here, but I'm not able to make the progress I want from here. Although access to Tony's resources has been wonderful to have." She kept talking, as if justifying her decision to him.

"When do you leave?" His voice sounded strange to him, choked somehow.

"Tomorrow." she replied, finally looking at him. She was searching for something in his eyes, she didn't quite know what.

Loki met her eyes and with a last effort gave her a relaxed smile.

"I wish you well then," he said. "Though I am certain you will miss our discussions." He even gave her a wink as he said it.

"Yeah I will." she said seriously. She smiled back, and slowly turned around to leave.

He felt strangely hollow. His heart begun racing and numbness spread through his legs and arms. It felt like the last seconds before going into battle, when you mind went blank and you prepared yourself that you might in fact not make it through.

Jane had almost reached the door.

"Jane, stop." His voice was pleading, and she turned around, grasping for hope. He looked as if he wanted to speak, though she couldn't see his face clearly in the dimming light. Silence stretched between them and Jane sighed shakily. She once again turned to reach for the door handle.

"_Please_ don't leave." His voice came over to her as a soft whisper. He was standing right behind her and she jumped in surprise.

"Why not?" she asked with her back still to him, not daring to move.

"I cannot bear it if you leave, Jane." His voice sounded naked, still at a whisper.

Slowly, scared to move, she turned around to face him. His face was open and honest – he looked terrified, his centuries peeled away to expose a young, insecure man.

"How...how long?" she asked.

"Seems like forever." he replied, averting his eyes from hers.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked again, trying to make sense of what was transpiring. She had _hoped_, but never in her wildest dreams could she have foreseen _this_.

Loki took a step backwards then, away from her. He flung his arms out to his sides.

"Because of what I am, what I have done!" He looked ashamed; she had never seen that emotion on his face before. "How could this possibly be? I am not deserving of your attention, Jane." His voice rose a little with every word.

She followed him as he retreated away from her.

"Don't you think _I_ should be the judge of that?" she snapped at him. When he didn't reply at first, she let out a frustrated growl. "Damn it Loki, just give up the charade already!" she almost yelled at him. Damn his misjudged pride and self-loathing!

"I have already been judged! By the millions of people who saw what I did! By my own family -" his voice was angry, and threatened to break. "I cannot fix this." he finished. A single tear rolled down his cheek. He hated himself for revealing his weakness – but he could not deny how good it felt to finally say it out loud.

"Maybe you can't. But you are trying. That has to count for something. And you have not been judged by _me_." she told him, as she took the final step towards him.

Loki looked at her, unbelieving but wanting to. She was so close to him, he could feel the warmth from her body.

He should tell her to leave, to continue her research in New Mexico, and he should stay here and continue to make things right – or disappear forever.

But something in him snapped, and he surrendered to her, and to Fate.

Loki fell to his knees, his head bowed down.

Jane took a deep breath, and kneeled in front of him. She laid her hands on his face, gently forcing him to look at her.

"What do you _want_, Loki?" she whispered.

His green eyes glittered with unshed tears, his brow slightly furrowed. Then, with a voice deep and steady, he told her.

"I love you."

Jane stopped breathing. She lightly ran her hands across his face, touching every line that told of his long life. She watched him inhale deeply and close his eyes.

Then she leaned towards him until their brows and noses touched. Loki reached for her hands and held them, resting them on their knees.

They sat like that for a moment, until another kind of longing slowly spread through his body. He tipped his head slightly to one side and found her lips with his. It was a soft kiss; searching and awaiting permission. He was risking everything on this, and he expected her to pull away in disgust.

To his surprise and pure joy, she returned the kiss and deepened it. Time stopped as their lips moved together. Finally, Loki breathlessly had to pull away.

"I am not giving up" he murmured, and before she could protest, he continued: "I am giving in."

She smiled at him, and he moved in to kiss her again, more urgently this time. She met him with the same fervour and passion, and as they sat there kissing on the rooftop, with the stars twinkling above them, he sent out a grateful thought to whatever had nudged him into giving up his proud idea of selflessness, and give in to his true feelings in the end.

**~ The End ~**


End file.
